Does anyone else have this horrible fear of death? I do. It’s a constant thought on the back of my mind. “Someday you will lose everyone you ever loved.” “How will you cope?” “What will it be like to die?”
I have a very hard time saying goodbye to people I care about… Even if its just for a few days. (If my wife goes out of town for a weekend or so. I cry. My best friends are about to move away and sometimes I find myself weeping because I’m afraid I’ll never see them again. I cry when I say goodbye to my family, because this horrible thought enters my mind, “This could be the last time you hug this person
..”
And so…when I think about people I love dying… I get so scared. I’m sure this is normal…
But I wish I could live in the moment…and enjoy the time that I do have with those I love.
It sort of feels like I have this shadow looming over me…even as I try to stay in the light.